I'm going to be reviewing the English language AKA colonizer Language American McDonald's language Liberian

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howdy partner today I'm going to be reviewing the English language AKA colonizer Language American McDonald's language Liberian or by the no need for a long intro you all know what this series is about at this point I'm going to discuss what is good and what is bad about the English language from a language learning perspective and then I'll give it an official language simp certified rating on the simp scale so without further Ado let's begin English isn't that just the default spawn language that everyone starts with no we speak English because we spawned in America I know it's hard as an American but you got to remember that other countries exist what's a country but English is the most spoken language in the universe as over 1.4 billion NPCs speak it just on Earth alone which means that learning it will unlock an unfathomable amount of DLC and that's because for a few hundred years the British Empire did a steamy number two on most countries they colonized the crap out of of everyone which caused the English language to spread like a virus way outside of England's embarrassingly small modern-day borders and nowadays the virus continues to spread because out of the rubble of colonization came the most gigachad country in the entire world the United States of global interventionism I mean America and everyone loves America and the American government so English is now widely studied all around the world even in North Korea in 2024 English is the global language so if you don't speak English at a conversational Level Society considers you a beta male you won't find a job you won't get a girl or a guy you'll never leave your country cuz you can't travel and you can never enjoy My Little Pony in its original language if you don't speak English as a passionate language learner myself I actually hate that English has become the global language back in the day if you wanted to go to Spain you had to learn Mexican and if you wanted to go to Arizona you had to learn Navajo but now if you just know English you can go everywhere most people are forced to learn the language in school which strips the fun out of it for them unlike with other languages no one learns English for fun or because they like how it sounds or because a certain English-speaking country fascinates them it's always school this work that blah blah drop out of school and quit your job due to the spread of this linguistic virus some of the countries with the most speakers of English as a second language include Bollywood land lollywood land and Nollywood land and there are a lot of people including me who are living life on easy mode recruit difficulty as native English speakers since we happen to spawn in one of the 19 majority native English-speaking countries the most notable of which is Biz just kidding I only just found out that place existed 10 minutes ago but they speak English but I don't know who really cares it's time to get down and dirty and talk about the big dogs and their iconic accents Americans speak standard normal English and they sound sophisticated and intelligent in fact the accent is so sophisticated that it takes up too much space in Americans brains and that's why they can't learn other languages American English is Iconic it's the accent of pop music Hollywood and Fox News but there are a lot of different types of Accents in different regions of America people from the South Sound friendly hospitable and Republican people from California all sound like Surfer Dudes like they're totally tubular bro people from Minnesota sound a little too Canadian for my taste and people Louis sound completely unable Crow them Crow so yeah there's a lot of diversity in the US now moving on to England I recently went don't hate British accents but I just wish everyone would stop acting like every Brit speaks in an incredibly elegant and luxurious way there are two main Accents in British English that of the pretentious Posh rich and snobby folk who think it's cool to lar as wizard royalty and that of the roadmen a lot of people think that the Posh RP or received pronunciation spoken by the BBC is the most comprehensible accent in English but it's actually the scous accent in Liverpool and then people from Birmingham are renowned for sounding amazing beautiful and poetic moving on to Discount America or Canada as they like to call it Canadians just sound American except with a little Twang and they add a to the end of all their sentences which makes them sound really insecure they're so insecure that if you hit a Canadian with your car he'll say I'm sorry buddy my buddy hit your nice automobile eh could I give you a tuni so you could pop on by the timmies and get yourself a double double Bud Australian sound a lot like if British people reproduce with Cowboys from Texas and I really like that it sounds badass wild flavorful and cute Australians love to say the word oi oi oi oi it kind of reminds me of a seagull in general the more offensive an Australian sounds to you the nicer they're actually being in reality if an Australian sounds polite and reserved they probably hate you then there's a bunch of empty water to the southeast of Australia where a few people might speak English but uh probably not now it's time to talk about the writing system the English language is written in the standard American alphabet which is made up of 26 beautiful and iconic letters that look normal and make life worth living most other languages either use or steal from this alphabet in some way and it's obvious why there are no scary characters like look at the Russian D and then look at the American D which letter would you rather your daughter dated there are no complicated works of art like look at this Chinese character you have to pick your pen up off the paper 50 8 times in order to draw it on the other hand every single English letter can be written in a maximum of three elegant Strokes the only potential problem is that so many of these letters have multiple pronunciations and there are groups of letters that make Unique Sounds and groups of letters that make the same sounds as individual letters it just makes no sense this word should definitely be said as rug why does the G make an F sound in the word rough and why on Earth does the O make an i sound in the word women and if you combine all the spelling quirks you could theoretically write the word potato like this and English words are screwed up too this language has the most batshit dictionary I've ever seen and that's because English is a mut as 80% of its vocab are lone words from other languages that's insane what even is English it's just a bunch of other languages it's not real English is technically a Germanic language but I think it should be called a romance language as 29% of the words come from from Latin and another 29% of the words come from French which also came from Latin I'm a Latino another 26% of the words do have Germanic roots and all of these words sound super strong and masculine especially when compared to the soft and feminine nature of the L words the word book sounds so aggressive and Powerful while the word novel sounds so wimpy you could ask a question like a Chad or you could inquire about something like a beta male and then of the useless and irrelevant words like democracy and Anatomy come from Greek while all of the useful and relevant words like loot Thug bandana and Mogul come from erdu but there are still some words that are pure and unique to English mainly the slang slang originating from English that is used so frequently throughout the world is often taken for granted like could you imagine speaking any language without using words like Riz skibby Phantom TX sus buson and cap an English acronym are some of the most iconic things in the observable universe how beautiful are acronyms like IDK BRB BBW TT L and FYI and everyone knows what LOL is I've seen people use it and even say LOL out loud both in French and Russian but they don't sound like native English speakers when they say it out loud because this language is pretty impossible to pronounce correctly there are a few sounds that foreigners struggle to make one of them being the th sound like in the word thick and words with th are exceptionally hard an English learner's worst nightmare is to be chained to the wall in my garage and only released when they can properly distinguish between and pronounce the words tough thought though through and thorough then there's the dreaded R sound which the Brits and Australians couldn't pronounce if their lives depended on it let's see if you can pronounce it look at this little guy isn't he cute say his name no that's not it just say it it's a squirrel it's a squirrel God and what is is this say it say it don't spray it there's no th in it it's rural it's rural how and so many words are spelled completely differently to how they're pronounced so good luck with words like kernel cupboard and ketchup fortunately English grammar is not actually all that bad the words all identify as non-binary which means that there are no cringe unnecessary grammatical genders the only articles you got to know are the' and ah and sometimes an if the word after it starts with a vowel sound there are also no grammatical cases so words stay the same unless you're pluralizing them in which case you'll either add an s or an es except for a few stupid words like fish fish is the same for both singular and plural and I hate it the plural should be fishs the subject pronouns are pretty straightforward there's I we you he she it they singular and they plural and thankfully there's no informal formal distinction as there are in similar languages thou used to be the informal version of of you that you'd use with your friends and you used to be the formal version you'd use with your wife's boyfriend's dad but we got rid of thou so nowadays you can address everyone you come across with the pronoun you the real fun comes when you're addressing multiple people you could just say you or you all but there are several cooler variations like y'all 's and in my home state of Pennsylvania Yin the real grammatical nightmare for English Learners are the phrasal verbs us natives never even think about how little sense these make they're the verbs made up of multiple words that we use all the time like bring in give in and take out the following is a perfectly normal way to speak English but I can't imagine a non-native understanding it sorry to butt in but you're screwing up don't scarf down your food you'll throw up I'm cracking down on you bro you need to squirrel it away I'm sizing you up man you need to man up and beef up don't chicken out clam up or flip out the base conjugations of normal verbs aren't too bad though everything's basically the same except you add an s or ES to the end of the he she and it conjugations the tenses though can get a little kooky we use a lot of auxiliary verbs in our conjugations mainly will have and do I Will Survive I have survived I do survive but the kooky part comes in when you have to combine these auxiliary verbs I have survived or I will done been had been done surviving the verbs themselves never really change much but tragically there are about 200 irregular verbs in English but most of them are really common so you'll learn them fast like to do to go and to breed now it's time to talk about shock Factor how will native English speakers react to you speaking their language as a foreigner the truth is it really depends on who you're speaking to if you speak English to an American they're not going to be surprised at all Americans don't know how much effort it takes to learn a language so they won't care they expect everyone to speak English already natives from Australia as well as the empty void off the coast of Australia will be pleased with your effort but they still won't react much English has the smallest shock factor out of any language in the solar system if you learn Chinese Chinese people will do triple backflips if you learn Spanish Brazilians will cook you tacos heck even if you learn German Germans will at least appreciate you but no you're expected to speak English in 2024 which is sad imagine how beautiful the world would be if the British Empire had never happened there's so much linguistic Beauty out there in the world but English unfortunately Alpha mogs all the competition and as a native English speaker that makes my life really easy can you imagine now it's time to give English an official language Sim certified rating on the Sim scale on a scale of dog water to gigachad I place English tragically in the dog water tier English is beautiful and every English speaking country is really cool and unique my England but I really hate the fact that English has a monopoly on the language learning Market everyone is forced to invest in English so it's hard to diversify your portfolio with other languages and that just really ruins the appeal for me I think the world would be a much better place if English were a dead language like Dutch yeah it will help you find a job and live a better life but we don't learn languages for self-improvement we learn languages to shock natives record them without their permission and post it to YouTube so if I wasn't a native speaker I'd choose to be a sigma male and I'd refuse to ever even study English if you enjoyed this video consider supporting me on patreon where I make language learning tips and tricks videos and give me a follow on Instagram and Twitter let me know which language I should review next in the comments and Godspeed